Many students find meeting new people and making friends one of the most exciting and most difficult aspects of starting university.

“I expected to be able to easily get involved in societies, and found myself hiding in my room out of fear of meeting new people. From the moment I got here I wanted to be in the Labour Club. I turned up to one meeting, and despite meeting very friendly and chatty people, I spent the entire time judging myself, wondering if I was doing it right, questioning whether I was convincing people I was ‘normal.” (Chris, former student)

Making friends can be tricky for anyone at any time, but the first semester at university is a big period of change and the social and routine-based aspects of autism can make things a little bit harder. It doesn’t mean it’s impossible, but as with so many things, it can just take a bit more work for autistic people. Knowing how to meet new people is a great start.

While students in the Autism&Uni survey told us that talking to friends really helped them when they were stressed, a lot of people also found that socialising was one of their biggest worries at uni, and their parents and teachers agreed.

It can be tempting to avoid doing anything outside the course, and that’s the route some autistic students take, but getting on with people (even if they aren’t your best friends) and taking part in activities outside your degree will help make university into a positive experience. There are also benefits for your grades – students who discuss their modules with others tend to get better marks. Not because they’re copying each other, but two (or more) heads are better than one at solving problems and finding new ways of understanding topics.

It may not always be easy, and there’s no infallible guide to making people like you, but we have some practical tips to share.

We asked people how they made friends at university. They told us:

• “I joined clubs, then got invited to hang out because I was such an interesting weirdo (that’s what I was told anyway)”
• “Work (worked in the library), friends of friends (few people from school went to same uni), labs”
• “Drinking” (this was a popular answer – interest in and tolerance for alcohol may vary…)
• “Most successfully, eventually finding group of ‘like-minded people’ (enviro activist group) – not that I liked all of them, but found people I clicked with in that group and it led to loads of other connections”
• “Was in Halls of Residence so was forced to hang out with strangers in shared areas. TBH, didn’t ever really make real friends” (it’s OK not to make real friends if you have friends outside of uni, but if you can get on with people and find people to do things with, it will be a less lonely experience)
• “Being brave and talking to people in the endless queues. How I met my closest friend of now nearly 18 years”
• “Lived in halls; approached nerdy-looking course-mates; met people from internet forums”
• “Course, Classoc, Gilbert & Sullivan, uni mag, uni radio, Jsoc. Halls were not my friend!”

You can see from that list that a lot of people made friends through joining groups related to their interests and several through their accommodation. “Friends of friends” is also a common answer – you may not start with many friends, but they all know people too.

Try leaving your door open if you live in halls and chat to people in the communal areas.

Join groups, societies and clubs, either at university or in the area where you live.

Introduce the people you meet to each other, and they will do the same with their new friends.

Be brave, and be real.

“Being brave” is a good point – it is good to be able to start conversations as well as wait for it to happen to you. This can take courage, but it is worth it.

“Feel confident and be yourself”. The thought of approaching someone new to talk to can be scary but once you find something in common you will feel a lot better. Approach the person and introduce yourself by saying something like “Hi, my name is Joe” and the person should respond back. When you get to know them better, maybe you can exchange numbers or add each other on social media to stay in touch.

Share treats – put the kettle on, make a cake, bring a biro…

“One of the methods that I used involved walking around with a bag of sweets that I could share with other students. This gave me so many opportunities to talk to loads of different people, some of whom are now my friends.” (James, former student)

Sharing small items, like a cup of tea, slice of pizza, or plate of biscuits usually goes down well, and eating and drinking can be very social activities. Having spare pens and paper with you can help you meet people at lectures too.

Form or join a study group

Even if you wouldn’t hang out with people on your course at home, it is useful to discuss coursework with them – you can all check your understanding and gain new perspectives on the work. Try speaking to the people around you at the end of a lecture or seminar. You could also ask if they’d like to form a study group. A study group would be about the work, not who likes who; this might make it easier to join in, even if you don’t know anyone.

Find friends online

You can start getting to know people before you go to uni – you can use forums like The Student Room which has subforums for every UK university. Bangor University also uses Campus Connect so you can find people on your course and in your Halls.

1. Does your university or town have a club, group or society related to your interests? You can check Bangor’s Students’ Union page to search for sports clubs and societies. If there isn’t a club for your interest, the Students’ Union can help you to start one.
2. If you live in Halls, can you leave your door open when you’re in so people can see you’re happy to talk to them?
3. What treats could you share to start a conversation with your course-mates or people in your accommodation?

Making friends as an autistic young person – Ambitious about Autism

Making friends; a guide for autistic adults – National Autistic Society

This article was written by Kate Walker from the Wellbeing and Equality team at Leeds Beckett University.

Updated and adapted for Bangor University, June 2025.